How to Convince Someone
10 Practical Tips to Master the Art of Persuasion
In this world of social creatures, people often have different opinions and hence mastering the art of persuasion is really important in day to day Life
You might have heard of George C. Parker who many people attribute to be amongst the best of the American persuader
He used to convince people that he owned the Brooklyn Bridge and would go on to sell it to them for a fortune
And this is not just him, we have heard it over news several times, that people were able to convince others that they own monuments like Taj Mahal and would even sell it to them for a fortune
You might think of the people buying these as idiots, but believe it or not persuasive powers of some of the people is so damn amazing that they can simply hypnotize you into believing what they are saying is true
Those things apart, we are here to learn how to convince someone and not to manipulate someone
These words may sound similar and are often used interchangeably but there is a fine difference between the two
The difference is of intent, while persuasion is done with good intentions to help people see your side of the coin and help them choose the same for a common good
On the other hand, manipulation, often involves an ill will, to trick someone to believe you for your benefit while hurting the other person
Both of these wills are often seen, and we are here to discuss some tips to help you convince your colleagues, family and friends for a common good
You might have heard of George C. Parker who many people attribute to be amongst the best of the American persuader
He used to convince people that he owned the Brooklyn Bridge and would go on to sell it to them for a fortune
And this is not just him, we have heard it over news several times, that people were able to convince others that they own monuments like Taj Mahal and would even sell it to them for a fortune
You might think of the people buying these as idiots, but believe it or not persuasive powers of some of the people is so damn amazing that they can simply hypnotize you into believing what they are saying is true
Those things apart, we are here to learn how to convince someone and not to manipulate someone
These words may sound similar and are often used interchangeably but there is a fine difference between the two
The difference is of intent, while persuasion is done with good intentions to help people see your side of the coin and help them choose the same for a common good
On the other hand, manipulation, often involves an ill will, to trick someone to believe you for your benefit while hurting the other person
Both of these wills are often seen, and we are here to discuss some tips to help you convince your colleagues, family and friends for a common good
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At a Glance
Let's have a deeper understanding of each one of these amazing tips
At a Glance
- Create a Confident Body Language
- Use Persuasive Words
- Try Story-telling
- Find what resonates with the other person
- Use balanced Arguments
- Try talking quicker
- Compliment what they say : Make them feel heard
- There is power in Repetition
- Don't go too fancy
- Use clues to guide them to conclusion
Let's have a deeper understanding of each one of these amazing tips
1. Create a Confident Body Language
Have you ever felt motivated and persuaded by a slouchy fumbling guy, delivering a speech, you probably wouldn't have even survived his entire talk
That is the impact of a confident body posture and a confident tone
All the great influencers and motivators that this Earth has ever seen, may not have the most muscular physique or the most beautiful voices
Infact some of the great leaders were very weak physically, but the thing that was common in them all was a great body language, be it a straight spine, a confident look, a clear head and a great vocal tone
All these things help a lot in making you and your voice stand out and you end up persuading and convincing people to opt for your viewpoint
The best of the influencers had a cunning way of establishing eye contact, while handling it in a manner that the person listening doesn't feel it like a constant stare, they feel involved
Likewise maintaining a clear flow of words makes it easier for the person to understand and get involved
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2. Use Persuasive Words
As we grow up our brain get used to attaching certain feelings with certain words naturally
This makes some words more persuasive than others
For instance, the use of words like "proven", "established", "guarantee", are really persuasive in winning people, while dealing with something relating to safety
Likewise, there are certain words that are psychologically wired to be more repelling to our brain
Words like "danger", "risky", "hazard", are attributed to trigger repelling responses in human beings
While these words can work wonders if you want to persuade someone from staying away from something, these words if used to demonstrate a positive side can hamper your efforts
For instance saying
"This machine is proven to work absolutely amazing for 10 years", works much better than saying
" It is not risky to work on this machine for at-least 10 years"
In the second statement, all that is going on in the other person's mind is the word "risky"
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3. Try Story-telling
While facts and figures work just fine, story-telling is something that attracts the attention of people across the hierarchyStories have a great way of connecting to the emotional self and helping others relate better
Most of the great influencers are great story tellers
Time and again several studies have highlighted the importance of story telling in convincing people
A group of students who used stories to highlight the problems of Africans were able to get much more donations than the group that simply used statistics and facts
The best part about stories is that it triggers emotions and not just your brain
While facts and figures, often find it difficult to strike a chord with the people and often turn out to be boring and inconclusive, stories captures a person from their heart
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4. Find what resonates with the other person
Different people have different ways in which they understand and feel more comfortable
While some find facts and figures more convincing, other find an emotional connect more persuasive
Figure out what kind of person you are dealing with and use appropriate form of persuasion to convince
For a person who is obsessed with facts and figures, taking to the point, displaying him the numbers and statistics will work absolutely amazing, instead of engaging him in some emotional talk which might just end up upsetting him
On the other hand, several people find numbers frustrating and are able to connect with live examples
For instance a working mother talking on breastfeeding will be convinced with true stories of mothers who adopted different strategies to breast feed their babies while managing their work life, instead of just plain emotion-less numbers
On the other hand, a board director of a company would be interested more on facts and figures rather than a fancy story
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While some find facts and figures more convincing, other find an emotional connect more persuasive
Figure out what kind of person you are dealing with and use appropriate form of persuasion to convince
For a person who is obsessed with facts and figures, taking to the point, displaying him the numbers and statistics will work absolutely amazing, instead of engaging him in some emotional talk which might just end up upsetting him
On the other hand, several people find numbers frustrating and are able to connect with live examples
For instance a working mother talking on breastfeeding will be convinced with true stories of mothers who adopted different strategies to breast feed their babies while managing their work life, instead of just plain emotion-less numbers
On the other hand, a board director of a company would be interested more on facts and figures rather than a fancy story
Checkout " How to be Positive in Life : 11 Ways to Create a Positive Mindset" to learn about keeping yourself Positive
5. Use Balanced Arguments
If you go too aggressive on proving a point and highlighting just the positives that becomes very noticeable and often times, people end up putting their guards up, thinking that you might have something really big to gain from it
This is very common and you too must have encountered some salesman, doing the same and you end up feeling something suspicious about the product
A balanced approach is always the best, as it gives the other person a cushion that the topic is covered from all the aspects and there is nothing hidden from them
This gives them the confidence to go on and support you
Everyone knows that nothing is perfect and hence pointing out some not so positive impacts of your view-point to the table, gives it a holistic view and may end up winning people for you
Putting even the pit-falls or the short comings of your view-point might help in finding some really amazing ideas from the people around, on how that short-coming can be overcome
6. Try talking quicker
A quick crisp to the point talk has two major benefits amongst others
First, it makes you look damn confident and highlights your command over the subject
Second, it doesn't give others, ample time to think of anything else but what you just spoke, and sometimes not even full of what you spoke, just the highlighted crisp feeling of it is what they could ponder over
This process has time and again proven to work in convincing people
If you can practice delivering some really amazing to the point lines quicker and without fumbling then you are there in their minds in a bang
Several great orators and influencers have some key lines imprinted on their minds, and without thinking twice they can utter the same exact words in the same exact manner
It takes some time and practice to master it, but it works every single time
Put in a couple of hours of practicing in front of a mirror and you are ready to go
7. Compliment what they say : Make them feel heard
This might appear very simple, but it works
Make them feel heard and important by repeating what they said followed by an "and" and your argument
This is very polite way of approving their point of view or atleast making them appear so, while still highlighting the importance and advantages of our point of view
When a person feels heard, he is more likely to lower his defense and listen to your argument
If you are just pitching in your point of view, without giving any genuine attempt to listen to what they have to say, then the same will be their approach towards your point
Give the other person a genuine chance to speak and make them feel heard, then you can propose the advantages of your point of view, highlighting how it is a better solution to the situation
Furthermore, listening the other person out, might give you some really amazing ideas to better your solution, thus helping you present your solution, in an even better way
Make them feel heard and important by repeating what they said followed by an "and" and your argument
This is very polite way of approving their point of view or atleast making them appear so, while still highlighting the importance and advantages of our point of view
When a person feels heard, he is more likely to lower his defense and listen to your argument
If you are just pitching in your point of view, without giving any genuine attempt to listen to what they have to say, then the same will be their approach towards your point
Give the other person a genuine chance to speak and make them feel heard, then you can propose the advantages of your point of view, highlighting how it is a better solution to the situation
Furthermore, listening the other person out, might give you some really amazing ideas to better your solution, thus helping you present your solution, in an even better way
8. There is power in Repetition
Utilize the power of repetition !!!
We have a conscious and a sub-conscious mind
While the conscious mind registers what we deliberately focus on, the sub-conscious mind registers it all, whether we focus on it or not
You might have noticed, we remember the awkward details like what building is on the left of a highway turn, or which tree near the roadside is blossoming with flowers, this is because of our sub-conscious mind that registers these events when we commute to work daily
Likewise, by presenting your arguments in various different ways and highlighting the advantages and helpfulness of our point of view, we are simulating the sub-conscious mind of that person, which is flooding the mind with the benefits of that point of view
And over a period of several repetitions, the other person is mentally ordered to find your point of view beneficial
While too much plain repetition can be annoying, repeating smartly with changing examples, almost always work
9. Don't go too fancy
What's the point of using all the grammar and vocabulary of the world, if the other person is not able to understand a single word
Communication is the art of conveying your view point and persuasion is the art of making others believe that your viewpoint is indeed their own point of view
So don't go too fancy with your grammar or vocabulary, in finding some of the rarest used words from dictionary to impress others
Most of the times it doesn't work, unless you are Steve Jobs and people are ready to die to listen to you
Use simple crisp and easy to understand phrases that resonates with the people you are talking to
For instance, if you are talking to Asians who tend to have slightly different pronunciations, using too fancy British ascent might not resonate
Find what resonates with your audience and use it appropriately
10. Use clues to guide them to conclusion
By letting them complete the puzzle, you give them the power of believing that they have uncovered your point of view, which actually you have rooted in their minds via some smart ways of influencing the sub-conscious mind
This can be done with some clues like some pamphlets or wall stickers or something you carry that points to your end goal
For instance, a discussion on what is more important, money or fitness, can have clues like poster of a really happy healthy fitness model, in contrast to a wealthy obese
This will keep simulating the idea of fitness being of utmost importance, in the sub-conscious mind of the person debating with you
I hope these tips help you master the art of persuasion and convince someone for the mutual good
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